Artificial Heroism
by alliedoll
Summary: just a drabble on what it might be like to be an EVA pilot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor would I like to because from what I hear and what I have watched so far to own it is to be very messed up in the head.

War takes a toll on the lives of everyone around it. Both those who are directly involved in the conflict, and those who merely observe are not from the physical destruction that it causes nor the emotional distress that it wreaks upon its victims. When those involved are children, the obliteration is much more complete and heartbreaking.

The EVA project started out with the intention of making the world safer for mankind. It would protect future generations from invaders, and it would be more powerful than any defense system the government had designed so far. The artificial intelligence in the brain of the robot melded with the intelligence and thought patterns of the pilot itself causing man and machine to move together as one integrated being.

The will of the robot was far stronger than its creators realized, however, and it rejected adult hosts on the basis that their personalities were far too developed and their habits too fully ingrained for the EVA to be able to influence them or exert its own will. The EVA would only connect with the minds of children, for they were idealistic and unmolded. Most of the children who worked for this project had yet to develop aspirations of their own, and they were easily influenced, therefore it was easy for the robot to inject its own opinions and thoughts into the pilot's mind. While it affected the brain function of the pilot, the effects were found to be slight and the effectiveness in battle was phenomenal because the machine and man were literally becoming one unit.

If you were under the age of fifteen, it was safe to say you'd not had a normal childhood anyway. Children in the city where NERV operated lived in fear. The city was always under attack. School was often cancelled due to raids, and the military came to their classes to choose those who were deemed "gifted" and offered them jobs in secret operations. These students became pilots for the new fleets of EVA's that were designed.

Rae was one of the children chosen for the assignment. She was a good student in elementary school and junior high. She excelled in math, computers, and biology. Though she'd never been popular in school, she had managed to make a few good friends. Before her commission as a pilot, she thought she might go to medical school to find a cure for cancer or some other life threatening disease. She never thought she would find herself fighting for life, as she knew it at the age of 14. Now, however, it was fait accomplit.

Shinji, on the other hand, knew that no matter how hard he fought the system, it was his destiny. Though he hated his father, he knew he would become just like him, and though that thought pained him it liberated him as well.

It freed him to know that his future was no longer his to decide. That meant he was free to cowardly accept it, all the while screaming in protest about how unfair it was. In the back of his mind, he knew that it was pointless to fight the system. No matter what actions he took against it, his fate was decided. His mind may as well meld with the consciousness of his robot, at least then it might make him useful to a cause larger than himself. Right now he found himself useful to no one.

They had no time to dream, no time to create, no time to play. There was no time at all, and they quickly became jaded.

Rae, however, no longer complained. The EVA had weakened her will enough that she now did its will. Now could it do that to Shinji? She thought it might use her to do so.

The two pilots sat in their classroom barely listening to the history teacher drone about something they would never use in what promised to be their short lives.

Rae text messaged Shinji on his computer.

"Do you want to come to my house today? We can compare notes about our missions."

"Yes, that might be nice. "

"Ok, right after school."

The process of the EVA's total possession of its pilots minds had begun.


End file.
